返回列表 回覆 發帖

情人節燭光晚餐

Appetizer到咗,佢照例瞇埋眼禀神。禀完就擘大眼,望下我,忽然:「問你尐嘢吖?」

我一聽就知有嘢不妙,如果handle得唔好,恐防情人節變仇人節!唔通Susanna 畀我嘅情慾whatsapp穿咗煲?

我特登大力咬pretzel bread, 等cheese dip唧到成嘴,very messy, buy some time to抹嘴,趁機諗到應對:「頭先未出門口咪已經話咗妳今日好靚咯……啊!要講埋套衫?妳今晚呢件one shoulder cut out好sexy, burgundy又零啥elegant…」

佢掘我一眼「唔係講呢尐。我唔知你自己知唔知,每次我祈禱,你都唔會等我,自己食先,但係,你媽咪祈禱你就乖乖地坐定定,等佢祈完先一齊開始食。」

其實佢禀神都好識做,耷低頭最多係10秒,祈無聲禱。我阿媽就煩好多,起碼一分半, 重要節日可能3分開口禱。我咁都唔肯等佢,講到我真係有點內咎。

「啊....係咩?」我想講的本來係「咁以後阿媽禀神我都唔等佢」但係您估我真係有個天做膽咩?

「咁我以後等妳祈埋禱先食嘢咯」

「你唔駛咁樣就我,我只不過想話畀你聽,你咁錫媽咪,肯等佢祈禱,咁respect佢,我好開心之嘛。」

即係話我唔respect佢啫,妳估我唔識聽咩?「係唔係特登就妳都好,我真係覺得應該等妳祈完禱先食嘢嘅,I insist.」佢淡淡一笑,甜在心頭。

各位,我係咪main course都未上枱就跪低咗呢?表面上好似係我就係想佢覺得係。

尐女人咁唔識諗,我都冇辦法。我唔等佢禀神自己食先,同趁佢禀神嗰陣覆Susanna嘅情慾whatsapp. 邊様令妳高興尐呢?
鬼唔知處理得好就掂過碌蔗
我就係處理得唔好
以前都試過奶嘢
我啲豬朋狗友亦一致公認
我在這方面的multitasking能力比較差
唔知係咪唔夠ram定係其他原因
Don't know where God is but the Devil is in the details
我嘅problem唔係physical方面,而係mental方面。

有時覺得耶穌未必錯得曬,一個人真係不能事奉兩個主。

以前在羅莎蓮同老婆之間都覺得吃力。(我再強調,唔係physical方面)

而家這個Susanna, 其實唔算婚外情,情的成份很少或甚至冇,玩下嘅啫
Don't know where God is but the Devil is in the details
屌,我不如仔細研究點解Elon Musk身家199.7B, 我1B都唔夠。人人ability唔同啫。
just go ahead冇可能,佢continously或明或暗話咗唔得。
佢係一個咁嘅女人:
我上網買嘢,要夠$50免運費,我見就天冷,買對手套畀佢就夠數。
畀佢,佢瞪住我:無端端買嘢畀我,又做咗咩對我唔住嘅嘢?
可能我扮坦蕩蕩表情唔似,佢見我ee哦哦,就giggling:講笑咋,識得驚,算你啦。Thank you. and then啜一聲錫一啖。

邊有得郁呢?
Don't know where God is but the Devil is in the details
梗係唔會話佢聽呢樣啦
Don't know where God is but the Devil is in the details
唔駛返工咩而家?等過多幾年退休先有機會
Don't know where God is but the Devil is in the details
達爾文尐嘢郁下都話唔知幾多億年,我都化L咗灰
Don't know where God is but the Devil is in the details
今年,appertizer一擺低,佢又禀神。
吸取上次教訓,我就趁機覆短訊。不過唔係Susanna,係另一個女人。
但係我時間掌握得唔好,佢禀完岳高頭,我仲打緊字,畀佢見到我啱啱岳高頭。
隔咗分零鐘佢終於忍唔住“我頭先有冇睇錯?你好似同我一齊祈禱?”原來我個cell phone放在膝上,佢浄係見到我耷低頭,唔知我其實打緊字。
我唔想佢知道我覆SMS以免自己捉蟲,我決定認祈禱對我比較有利“我應承過要respect妳吖嘛。”

佢微微笑下,但我覺得佢好似有嘢想講。為咗唔想佢問,我搶先問佢。


“我記得以前阿仔細個,妳教佢人地講thank you. 你要答人you are welcome.”咁先有禮貌,但唔知點解,我多謝咗賜畀我嘅嘢食,又總聽唔見you’re welcome, my pleasure,happy to help之類答覆?

佢望我一陣,忽然用手指公頂住佢自己酥胸,張開五指,好似我哋小學生嗰時藐人,手指公放鼻哥,伸開五指作吹喇叭狀,只不過唔係放鼻哥而改為心口。

我唔明,“咩意思?”
“有一次,我哋教會去探 School for the Deaf, 佢地教我,呢個gesture就係you’re welcome.”你以為你識曬所有you’re welcome嘅expressions咩?會唔會係佢有答,但你自己見唔到呢?



這些年來,我愈來愈覺得我老婆已經摸清曬我嘅套路,愈來愈佔上風嘅係佢。可能我只有死守最後一道防綫“我係都唔信妳吹得我漲?”
Don't know where God is but the Devil is in the details
返回列表
高級模式 | 發新話題
B Color Image Link Quote Code Smilies
換一個