hellboy

Kiss the Son or God will get angry and might have to kill you. 2:12

God has smitten his "enemies upon the cheek bone" and has "broken the teeth of the ungodly." 3:7

Christians often say that one should love the sinner but hate the sin. Perhaps, but God hates sinners and plans to destroy them. 5:5-6

If you pray to God, he will kill your enemies for you. 9:3-6

"The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things." 12:3

Atheists are fools who never do anything good. 14:1, 53:1

"They are all together become filthy: there is none that doth good, no, not one." Everyone is filthy and no one has ever done anything good. 14:3

Atheists are fools who never do anything good. 14:1, 53:1

The God of peace teaches us how to kill our neighbors in war. 18:34

God helps believers kill and enslave their enemies. 18:40-43

hellboy

If you make God angry, he'll burn you and your children to death. 21:9-10

God will shoot his adversaries in the back with his arrows. 21:12

The psalmist sets an example for Christians by hating people but loving God. 31:6

Those who fear God never starve. 33:19

Those "that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing." (Those who are poor or hungry just aren't seeking God enough.) 34:10

A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies: Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them.... Let destruction come upon him at unawares." 35:6,8

Those who trust in God and do good, will never be hungry. (Those who starve to death didn't trust him or did bad things.) 37:3

If you delight yourself in God, he'll give you whatever you want. 37:4

God laughs at those that he will later torment. 37:13

The Psalmist praises God for driving out and afflicting "the heathen" with his own hand. 44:2

hellboy

If you forget God, God will tear you into pieces. 50:22

If you don't trust in God, he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righteous" will laugh at you. 52:5-7

God will send evil on the enemies of his followers. 54:5

Referring to his enemies, the psalmist says: "Let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell." 55:15

Wicked people are wicked from birth -- God made them that way. They tell lies immediately after birth (before they can even talk!). 58:3

The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth ... let them be cut in pieces." 58:6-7

"Let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun."
A prayer that your enemies will die like an aborted fetus. 58:8

"The righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by God. He'll even get a chance to wash his feet in their blood. Now that's entertainment! 58:10

The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy. 59:5

God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. 59:8

hellboy

"The God of mercy" will let the psalmist see his enemies tormented. 59:10

"Consume them in thy wrath, consume them." -- more sweet prayers to a savage god. 59:13

God divides the world into those countries that he likes and those that he doesn't. Those he doesn't like he calls names (like "washpot") and says that he will throw his shoe at them. 60:7-8

God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can wash their feet "in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same." 68:21, 23

"They that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee." 73:27

"The LORD heard this" (he had his hearing aid on) and became angry, and burned people "because they believed not in God." 78:21-22

"The wrath of God came upon them" and God killed many of the Israelites for not believing in "his wondrous works." 78:31-34

God "cast out the heathen" and gave their lands to the Israelites. 78:55

The psalmist asks God to pour out his wrath on somebody else for a change. Why not torment some strangers "that have not known thee?" 79:5-6

The psalmist asks God to "do unto them as unto the Midianites ... which became as dung for the earth." 83:9-18

hellboy

If you don't follow God's commandments, he will beat you with a rod. 89:31-32

"They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing." Being fat is is sure sign of righteousness. (Wicked people are skinny and hungry.) 92:12-14

The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstborn in their land." See Ex.12:29-30 for the gory details. 105:29-36

God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: drowning, earth-swallowing, burning, etc. 106:11-19

God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab." But "then stood up Phinehas, and executed judgment [by throwing a spear through a newly married couple]: and so the plague was stayed." But not before 24,000 (1 Cor.10:8 says 23,000) had died. (See Num.25:6-9 for all the gory details.) 106:29-30

God is offended by those who make things with their hands or invent things with their minds. 106:39

God destroys the environment to punish people for their sins. 107:33-34

The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "Set thou a wicked man over him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let his prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions, kill him, and have his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. 109:6-14

"Let Satan stand at his right hand." 109:6

"Let his prayer become sin." 109:7

hellboy

"Let his days be few; and let another take his office." 109:8

"Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow." 109:9

"Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg." 109:10

"Let the extortioner catch all that he hath; and let the strangers spoil his labour." 109:11

"Let there be none to extend mercy unto him: neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children." 109:12

Let his posterity be cut off; and in the generation following let their name be blotted out." 109:13

"Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the LORD; and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out." 109:14

God will "fill the places with dead bodies" of heathens. 110:6

God is praised for slaughtering kings, nations, and little babies. 135:8, 10

"To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever." 136:10

hellboy

God "overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea: for his mercy endureth for ever." 136:15

God "smote great kings: for his mercy endureth for ever." 136:17-18

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." 137:9

The psalmist excels at hating. He hates people with a "perfect hatred" and asks God to kill them. 139:19-22

A prayer that God will burn people to death. 140:10

The God of Peace teaches us to kill each other in war. 144:1

The saints praise God while they kill and enslave "the heathen." 149:5-8 Proverbs


God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and ignore you when you ask him for help. And if you seek him, you will not find him. 1:26-28

"Whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil."
Whoever listens to God (or wisdom, or whoever is talking here) will always be safe. 1:33

"A rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding."
Beat the people who don't understand with a rod. 10:13

hellboy

"The soul of the diligent shall be made fat."
God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are skinny and poor.) 13:4

"Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded." 13:13

"A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just." 13:22

"The belly of the wicked shall want."
How to tell the good from the bad: Good people are the ones who get plenty to eat, and wicked are the ones who go hungry. 13:25

God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them. 16:4

"A divine sentence is in the lips of the king: his mouth transgresseth not in judgment." 16:10

"The throne is established by righteousness." 16:12

"Righteous lips are the delight of kings." 16:13

"In the light of the king's countenance is life; and his favour is as a cloud of the latter rain." 16:15

Fools are meant to be beaten. 18:6

hellboy

Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. 19:18

Scorners (skeptics?) should be condemned; fools should be beaten. 19:29

"The fear of a king is as the roaring of a lion: whoso provoketh him to anger sinneth against his own soul."
It's a sin to make a king angry. 20:2

A king that sitteth in the throne of judgment scattereth away all evil with his eyes." 20:8

"The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." 21:1

"The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous." 21:18

Beating your children will make them less foolish. Have you beaten your child today? 22:15

Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14

Fear ... the king." 24:21

"The heaven for height, and the earth for depth, and the heart of kings is unsearchable." 25:3

hellboy

"Take away the wicked from before the king, and his throne shall be established in righteousness." 25:5

Whip horses and strike the backs of foolish people with rods. 26:3

If you don't listen to and follow the laws of Moses, then don't even try praying, because your prayer will become an abomination. 28:9

"He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat."
So that's why there are so many fat Christians! (And starving non-Christians.) 28:25

Beating your children will make them wise. 29:15

Beat your servants (slaves), as though they were your children. 29:19

If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. 30:17 Ecclesiastes


"Curse not the king, no not in thy thought; and curse not the rich." 10:20

Isaiah


"If ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword." 1:20

"Ye shall be confounded for the gardens that ye have chosen." 1:29

hellboy

"They shall go into the holes of the rocks, and into the caves of the earth, for fear of the LORD ... when he ariseth to shake terribly the earth." 2:19, 21

"Jerusalem is ruined, and Judah is fallen: because their tongue and their doings are against the LORD." 3:8

"They declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul!"
The biblical god just doesn't seem to care much for homosexuals. And he gets especially upset when "they hide it not." 3:9

God will "smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion" and "will discover their secret parts" since he doesn't like the way they dress and walk. 3:16-17

"And ... instead of a sweet smell there shall be stink," with people suffering from baldness and burnings, and the men killed with swords. 3:24-25

God will kill those who despise his word and fail to follow his laws. Their carcasses will be "torn in the midst of the streets." 5:24-25

God will prevent people from hearing and understanding "lest they ... convert and be healed." 6:10

If you associate or gird yourself, God will break you in pieces. 8:9

God will have no mercy on the widows and children of hypocrites. 9:17

God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the flesh of his own arm." 9:19-20

hellboy

Some day God will have his "mighty ones ... destroy the whole land." 13:3-5

On God's day he will kill sinners with great anger, wrath, and cruelty. Those who die will have their faces consumed by flames. 13:6-9

If God can find you, he will "thrust you through," smash your children "to pieces" before your eyes, and rape your wife. He will have no mercy, but will even kill your little children. 13:15-18

God will slaughter children "for the iniquity of their fathers." 14:21

After God destroys Moab, the rivers will be red with blood. He will send lions to eat any survivors. 15:9

The God of Peace will set brother against brother and kingdom against kingdom. Then he'll make the survivors seed the counsel of "wizards," and subject them to a "cruel lord." 19:2-4

God sends a "perverse spirit" among the Egyptians and causes them to err "as a drunken man staggereth in his vomit." 19:14

The Apocalypse of Isaiah: God will destroy the earth, burning everyone and every living thing alive (except maybe a few men). 24:1-6

God will have no mercy on those who don't understand him. 27:11

"Woe to the rebellious children, saith the LORD, that take counsel, but not of me." 30:1

hellboy

God will put "a bridle in the jaws of the people, causing them to err." 30:28

"Through the voice of the LORD shall the Assyrian be beaten down." 30:31

"The Lord ... will bring evil." 31:1-2

"And the people shall ... be burned in the fire." 33:12

God is furious at everyone and is ready to kill them all. Or as Isaiah so delicately puts it: "Their stink shall come up out of their carcasses, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood." 34:2-3

I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and shall return to his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land."
God will cause Sennacherib to be killed by the sword. (See verse 38 where Sennacherib is killed by his own sons while praying.) 37:7

"Sennacherib ... departed, and ... as he was worshipping in the house of Nisroch his god, that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword."
God made the sons murder their father. (See verse 7.) 37:37-38

God makes Egypt, Ethiopia, and Seba pay for Israel's sins. He says that he likes Israel better than any other country so he's willing to sacrifice other countries for the Israel's sake. 43:3-4

God is the creator of evil. 45:7

No astrologer, stargazer, or prognosticator will be able to save those that God plans to burn to death. 47:13-14

hellboy

"The Lord ... will do his pleasure on Babylon, and his arm shall be on the Chaldeans." 48:14

"I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine." 49:26

"I dry up the sea, I make the rivers a wilderness: their fish stinketh, because there is no water, and dieth for thirst."
God brags about the strangest things. 50:2

"The heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like a garment, and they that dwell therein shall die in like manner." (God plans to destroy the universe.) 51:6

Nations that do not serve Israel will perish. 60:12

"I will ... trample them in my fury; and their blood ... will stain all my raiment." (God's clothes will get stained with the blood of humans.) 63:2-6

"O Lord, why hast thou made us to err from thy ways, and hardened our heart from thy fear?" Good question. 63:17

Every noble human act, every act of love, courage, and kindness is "an unclean thing", "a filthy rag" to God. 64:6

"Ye are they that forsake the LORD ... Therefore will I number you to the sword, and ye shall all bow down to the slaughter." 65:11-12

Don't eat "swine flesh" (like ham or bacon) or other "abominable things" or God will have to kill you. 65:4, 66:17

hellboy

"God's servants" will eat, drink, and be merry; everyone else will be hungry, thirsty, and ashamed -- until God kills them, that is. 65:13-15

God will "plead with all flesh" with fire and sword, "and the slain of the Lord shall be many." 66:15-16

Don't worship incorrectly or eat swine flesh (like ham or bacon) or God will have to kill you. 66:17

"They shall ... look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall t heir fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh." 66:24 Jeremiah


God will set Jeremiah over nations and kingdoms do build up or destroy or whatever. 1:10

God will send enemy nations against his "chosen people." 1:14-15

Those who worship "other gods" are wicked. "I will utter my judgments against them touching all their wickedness, who have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods." 1:16

"They shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I am with thee." 1:19

God tries to "correct" people by killing their children. 2:30

"The showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain."
Droughts are punishments from God. 3:3

hellboy

"As a wife treacherously departeth from her husband ..." If a woman leaves her husband, she is "treacherous," but a man is blameless when he "puts her away" for no reason. 3:20

Circumcise the foreskin of your heart or God will burn you to death. 4:4

"I will bring evil from the north, and a great destruction." 4:6

"The lion is come up from his thicket ... and thy cities shall be laid waste, without an inhabitant." 4:7

Lament and howl: for the fierce anger of the LORD is not turned back from us." 4:8

God has "greatly deceived this people." 4:10

What was once fruitful is now barren. Birds have fled, people are gone, towns are in ruins. All "by his (God's) fierce anger." 4:25-28

God tries to reform people by tormenting them and then wonders why it doesn't work. 5:3

Those who don't follow or know God are "poor" and "foolish." 5:4

God will send lions, wolves, and leopards to tear people to pieces.5:6

hellboy

"How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have ... committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots' houses." 5:7

God will burn the people to death for discovering his non-existence. 5:14

God again talks of bringing a foreign nation to destroy his chosen ones and their lands. 5:15-17

God just can't hold in his fury any longer. He will kill everyone: husbands and wives, children and old people. 6:11

God will punish men by taking away all of their property, including their wives, and giving it to others. 6:12

God "will bring evil upon this people, even the fruit of their thoughts" because they refuse to do whatever the hell he asks them to do. 6:19

God plans to kill pretty much everyone: fathers and sons, family, friends, and neighbors. God plans to kill them all after laying a stumbling block before them. 6:21

God will send soldiers from the north that will kill everyone and have no mercy. 6:22-23

God says that there are some people that you just shouldn't bother praying for. And if you do he won't listen anyway. 7:16

God will pour out his anger on both man and beast. Not even the trees will be spared from his wrath. And the ground itself will burn forever. 7:20

hellboy

"The LORD hath rejected and forsaken the generation of his wrath." 7:29

God will feed the people to the birds and the beasts, "and none shall fray them away."  7:33

To punish the men, God will "give their wives to others." 8:10

Don't trust anyone. Not even your neighbors, family, or friends. Those who believe differently than you are all liars and evil doers. 9:4-6

God will give the people bad food and water, and then kill them with a sword. 9:15-16

God will kill children and young men, and the dead bodies "shall fall as dung .... and none shall gather them." 9:21-22

"Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will punish all them which are circumcised with the uncircumcised." I guess that'd include just about everyone -- well, all the men anyway. 9:25-26

Jeremiah prays for the destruction of people and families that don't call on God's name. 10:25

Those who don't follow the Old Testament laws are cursed by God. 11:3

God "will bring evil upon" people from which they will not be able to escape. And if they cry out to him for help, he will not help them. 11:11

hellboy

God forbids others from praying for his victims. Such prayers would go unanswered anyway, he says, because he "will not hear them in their time of trouble." 11:14

"For the Lord of hosts ... hath pronounced evil against thee." 11:17

Jeremiah prays for vengeance upon his enemies. 11:20

God will punish the people by killing their young men in war and starving their children to death. 11:22

Jeremiah asks God to drag away his enemies like "sheep for the slaughter."  12:3

God delivered his people "into the hand of her enemies." He "hates" his "dearly beloved" people and plans to feed them to the birds. 12:7-9

God's sword will "devour" everyone until "no flesh shall have peace." 12:12

If any nation does not listen to God, he "will utterly pluck up and destroy that nation." 12:17

God plans to make everyone in the kingdom drunk and then "dash the fathers and the sons together." The merciful God of peace vows to "not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them." 13:12-14

"For the greatness of thine iniquity are thy skirts discovered, and thy heels made bare." 13:22

hellboy

God tells Jeremiah not to pray for the people. God has decided to kill them all and he doesn't want to be talked out of it. 14:11

God will ignore the peoples' prayers, and kill them all with war, starvation, and disease. 14:12

God will destroy by famine and sword those who are misled by the prophets, as well as the prophets themselves. 14:15-16

God tells Jeremiah not to bother praying for the people. Even if Moses and Samuel (and Jesus?) were to ask him to reconsider, he wouldn't. He's going to kill everybody and nobody can stop him! 15:1

God has it all planned out. He'll kill some with the sword, some with famine, and he'll feed the rest to the dogs and birds. Why will he do these terrible things? Because of something a former king did. 15:2-4

God again threatens Jerusalem with mass destruction. Here are some of the highlights: He will kill children, make more widows than there are grains of sand, terrorize cities, and then kill the survivors. 15:7-9

"A fire is kindled in mine anger, which shall burn upon you." 15:14

God tells Jeremiah not to get married or have children, because he's going to kill everyone (mothers and daughters, fathers and sons). They all "shall die of grievous deaths," and that shall neither "be lamented" nor buried, but "shall be as dung upon the face of the earth." For he has removed peace, "lovingkindness," and mercy from the people. 16:1-7

God will kill children if their parents worship other gods. 16:10-11

God will enslave the people of Judah because they worshipped the wrong gods. 17:4