hellboy

Whoever kills the lame and the blind will be David's "chief and captain." 5:8

"David ... grew great, and the LORD God of hosts was with him." 5:10

David asks God if he should kill some more Philistines. God says yes, and he'll even help. So David and God "smote the Philistines" again. 5:19

"David smote them there, and said, The LORD hath broken forth upon mine enemies before me."
God helps David slaughter his enemies. 5:20

"When thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees ... then shall the LORD go out before thee, to smite the host of the Philistines." 5:24

"And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines." 5:25

Uzzah tries to keep the ark from falling off the cart, and God kills him for it. I guess it was God's way of saying Thanks. 6:6-7

King David dances nearly naked in front of God and everybody. When Michal criticizes him for exposing himself, God punishes her by having "no child unto the day of her death." Although 2 Sam.21:8 says that she had five sons (which were sacrificed to God by David to stop God from starving people to death). 6:14-23

"I was with thee whithersoever thou wentest, and have cut off all thine enemies out of thy sight."
God was with David wherever he went and killed all of his enemies for him. 7:9

David kills two thirds of the Moabites and makes the rest slaves. He also cripples the captured horses. 8:2-4

hellboy

"David slew of the Syrians two and twenty thousand men ... and the Lord preserved David withersoever he went." 8:5-6

"David gat him a name when he returned from smiting of the Syrians in the valley of salt, being eighteen thousand men ... And the LORD preserved David whithersoever he went." 8:13-14

David tells Joab (his captain) to send Bathseba's husband (Uriah) to "the forefront of the hottest battle ... that he may be smitten and die." In this way, David gets another wife. 11:15, 17, 27

God is angry at David for having Uriah killed. As a punishment, he will have David's wives raped by his neighbor while everyone else watches. It turns out that the "neighbor" that God sends to do his dirty work is David's own son, Absalom (16:22). 12:11-12

To punish David for having Uriah killed, God kills Bathsheba's baby boy. 12:14-18

After the baby died, David washed, got dressed, had a nice meal, and worshiped the God who killed his son. 12:20-21

"He ... put them under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brick-kiln."
David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of several cities. 12:31

"When king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth."
The New Revised Standard Version adds, "but he would not punish his son Amnon, because he loved him, for he was his firstborn."
David loved Ammon "because he was his firstborn" (good parents love their firstborn sons more than their other kids). As the Brick Testament suggests, he probably said something like, "Oh well, I guess firstborns are entitled to one free incestuous rape." 13:21

"And the king left ten women, which were concubines, to keep the house."
David left Jerusalem because he was afraid that his son Absalom was going to kill him. But he left his concubines to fend for themselves. 15:16

To punish his ten concubines for being raped by his son, Absalom (See 16:21-22), David refuses to ever again have sex with them and forces them to "keep house" for the rest of their lives. 20:3

hellboy

"For the LORD had appointed to defeat the good counsel of Ahithophel, to the intent that the LORD might bring evil upon Absalom."
God made Absalom reject the advice of Ahithophel so that he could "bring evil on Absalom." 17:14

"When Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his ass, and arose, and gat him home to his house, to his city, and put his household in order, and hanged himself." 17:23

"Then said Ahimaaz ... Let me now run, and bear the king tidings, how that the LORD hath avenged him of his enemies." (See 2 Samuel 17:14) 18:19

"Then cried a wise woman out of the city ... Behold, his head shall be thrown to thee over the wall ... And they cut off the head of Sheba ... and cast it out to Joab." 20:16-22

A famine is sent on David's kingdom for three years. When David asks God why, God answers: "It is for Saul, and his bloody house, because he slew the Gibeonites. "So God sent a famine to punish a kingdom for something that a former king had done. 21:1

To appease God and end the famine that was caused by his predecessor (Saul), David agrees to have two of Saul's sons and five of his grandsons killed and hung up "unto the Lord." 21:6-9

"They hanged them in the hill before the LORD." 21:9

"They gathered the bones of them that were hanged ... And after that God was intreated for the land."
God stopped the famine after Saul's two sons and five grandsons were killed and hung up for him. 21:13-14

"I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God."
David is one of the most despicable characters in all fiction, yet here he brags about how perfect he is. (And God agrees with him! 22:22-24

"He teacheth my hands to war."
Might as well learn from an expert. 22:35

hellboy

"I have pursued mine enemies, and destroyed them; and turned not again until I had consumed them. And I have consumed them, and wounded them, that they could not arise: yea, they are fallen under my feet." 22:38-39

"Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies, that I might destroy them that hate me." 22:41

"They looked, but there was none to save; even unto the LORD, but he answered them not." 22:42

"I beat them as small as the dust of the earth, I did stamp them as the mire of the street." 22:43

"It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me. And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me." 22:48-49

"And the LORD wrought a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to spoil." 23:10-12

David was thirsty, so he asked someone to get him some water from the Bethlehem well, which was controlled by the Philistines. Three of his men broke through the enemy lines, got the water from the well, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it and poured it on the ground. 23:15-17

God tempts David to take a survey. 24:1

God offers David a choice of punishments for having conducted the census: 1) seven years of famine ( 1 Chr.21:1 says three years), 2) three months fleeing from enemies, or 3) three days of pestilence. David can't decide, so God chooses for him and sends a pestilence, killing 70,000 men (and probably around 200,000 women and children). 24:13

Even David can see the injustice of God's punishment (killing hundreds of thousands of people because David took a census). He pleads with God saying, "I have sinned ... but these sheep, what have they done?" 24:17

hellboy

1 Kings


In David's last words, he commands his son Solomon to murder Joab and Shimei. 2:1-9

Solomon has his brother (Adonijah) murdered. 2:24-25

Solomon carries out the deathbed instructions of his father David by having Joab murdered. 2:29-34

Solomon justifies the murder of Joab by saying that Joab also was a murderer, and that the blood of Joab's victims "shall therefore return upon the head of Joab, and upon the head of his seed for ever." 2:33

But Solomon is not done murdering yet. He has Shimei murdered -- or as Solomon put it, "The Lord shall return thy wickedness upon thine own head." 2:44, 46

"In thy days I will not do it for David thy father's sake: but I will rend it out of the hand of thy son."
God is angry with Solomon, but decides to punish Solomon's son rather than Solomon himself, because he liked Solomon's father (David) so darned much. 11:11-12

"The LORD stirred up an adversary unto Solomon, Hadad the Edomite."
To punish Solomon for his strange wives and strange gods, God "stirred up an adversary unto Solomon, Hadad the Edomite." 11:14

"Joab ... had smitten every male in Edom." 11:15-16

"And God stirred him up another adversary, Rezon." 11:23

"Jerusalem, the city which I have chosen."
God likes Jerusalem better than any other city. 11:36

hellboy

King Josiah is prophesied to sacrifice the priests of the "high places" on their altars. And he does so in 2 Kg.23:20. Note that this is a guy who "did what was right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Kg.22:2). 13:2

"And his hand, which he put forth against him, dried up ... And the man of God besought the LORD, and the king's hand was restored him again."
Ever the playful spirit, God withers, and then restores, the hand of king Jeroboam. 13:4-6

"A lion met him by the way, and slew him."
There were these two prophets. The first prophet lied to the second. To the punish the second for believing the first's lie, God sends a lion to kill him. Get it? 13:11-24

"When the prophet ... heard thereof, he said, It is the man of God, who was disobedient unto the word of the LORD: therefore the LORD hath delivered him unto the lion, which hath torn him, and slain him, according to the word of the LORD." 13:26

God promises to "bring evil upon the house of Jerobaom," saying he will "cut off" anyone "that pisseth against the wall." Then, after he is done with them, their dead bodies will be eaten by dogs (if they are city dwellers) or fowls (if they are country folk). 14:10-11

"I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall." 14:10

"Him that dieth of Jeroboam in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that dieth in the field shall the fowls of the air eat: for the LORD hath spoken it." 14:11

"When thy feet enter into the city, the child shall die." 14:12

"For the LORD shall smite Israel ... because they have made their groves, provoking the LORD to anger." 14:15

"When she came to the threshold of the door, the child died."
To punish Jeroboam for making gold calves, God killed his son. 14:17

hellboy

Asa "did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD" by expelling homosexuals (or "sodomites", as the good book calls them). 15:12

Baasha kills "all of the house of Jeroboam" leaving none "to breath." This slaughter was done "according to the word of the Lord." 15:29

"I will ... make thy house like the house of Jeroboam. Him that dieth of Baasha in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that dieth of his in the fields shall the fowls of the air eat."
God says he's going to kill Baasha's family (like he did Jeroboam's). 16:3-4

"Because he killed him."
God will kill Baasha and his family for killing Jeroboam and his family (even though God wanted him to do it). 16:7

"He slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends. Thus did Zimri destroy all the house of Baasha, according to the word of the LORD."
Zimri kills everyone "that pisseth against a wall ... according to the word of the Lord." 16:11-12

"When Zimri saw that the city was taken, that he went into the palace of the king's house, and burnt the king's house over him with fire, and died. For his sins which he sinned in doing evil in the sight of the LORD, in walking in the way of Jeroboam, and in his sin which he did, to make Israel to sin."
Did God force Zimri to burn himself to death? 16:18-19

"He laid the foundation thereof in Abiram his firstborn, and set up the gates thereof in his youngest son Segub, according to the word of the LORD."
When Hiel rebuilds Jericho, he lays the foundation with the body of his oldest son and sets up the gates with his youngest son's body "according to the word of the Lord."
Did God want Hiel to sacrifice his sons in this way? Did he make him do it? What does "according to the word of the Lord" mean here? 16:34

Elijah kills 450 prophets of Baal. 18:22, 40

"There came a prophet unto Ahab king of Israel, saying, Thus saith the LORD, Hast thou seen all this great multitude? behold, I will deliver it into thine hand this day; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD." 20:13

"They slew every one his man: and the Syrians fled; and Israel pursued them ... And the king of Israel ... slew the Syrians with a great slaughter."
The first God assisted "great slaugher" of the Syrians. 20:21

hellboy

God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites' hands, and 100,000 were killed in one day. Of those that escaped, 27,000 were crushed by a falling wall. 20:28-30

"A man of God ... said, Thus saith the LORD, Because the Syrians have said, The LORD is God of the hills, but he is not God of the valleys, therefore will I deliver all this great multitude into thine hand, and ye shall know that I am the LORD."
God kills 127,000 Syrians because they said he was God of the hills but not God of the valleys. 20:28

"The children of Israel slew of the Syrians an hundred thousand footmen in one day." 20:29

"There a wall fell upon twenty and seven thousand of the men that were left." 20:30

"Ben-hadad said unto him, The cities, which my father took from thy father, I will restore ... Then said Ahab, I will send thee away with this covenant. So he made a covenant with him, and sent him away."
King Ahab is merciful to king Beh-hada. God will later kill him for it. (See 1 Kings 20:42 and 22:35) 20:34

There was this son of a prophet that said to his neighbor, "Smite me." But the neighbor refused. So God sent a lion to devour him. 20:35-36

"A certain man of the sons of the prophets said unto his neighbour in the word of the LORD, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man refused to smite him." 20:35
Then said he unto him, Because thou hast not obeyed the voice of the LORD, behold, as soon as thou art departed from me, a lion shall slay thee. And as soon as he was departed from him, a lion found him, and slew him." 20:36


Thus saith the LORD, Because thou hast let go out of thy hand a man whom I appointed to utter destruction, therefore thy life shall go for his life, and thy people for his people."
The prophet tells king Ahab that he will be killed and his people punished for not killing Ben-hadad: "Your life shall go for his life, and your people for his people." 20:42

"Thou didst blaspheme God and the king."
Although Naboth was set up here by Jezebel to steal his land, the text assumes that the proper punishment for "blaspheming God and the king" is death by stoning. 21:10-13

"Thus saith the Lord, in the place where dogs licked the blood of Naboth shall dogs lick thy blood, even thine."
God says that dogs with lick Ahab's blood. But Jezebel, not Ahab, was repsonsible for Naboth's death. 21:19

hellboy

"Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall."
God will "bring evil upon" Ahab and kill everyone in his family "that pisseth against the wall." 21:21

The dogs shall eat Jezebel." Jezebel (Ahab's "strange" wife) "stirred up" Ahab to "work wickedness in the sight of the Lord." To punish her, God will feed her dead body to the dogs. He also plans to feed Ahab's family to the dogs (if they live in the city) and to the birds (if they are country folks). 21:23-25

"Seest thou how Ahab humbleth himself before me? because he humbleth himself before me, I will not bring the evil in his days: but in his son's days will I bring the evil upon his house."
Since Ahab humbles himself before the Lord, God decides not to bring evil on him; he'll he'll bring it on Ahab's son instead. 21:29

"And the LORD said, Who shall persuade Ahab?"
God asks for volunteer among the guys hanging out with him. He wants one of them to lie for him so that he can get Ahab kiiled. 22:19-22

God puts a "lying spirit" in the mouth of his prophets. 22:22

Jehoshaphat "did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord" and "took" the homosexuals (sodomites) "out of the land," or as the RSV says, "he exterminated" them. 22:43, 46
2 Kings


Ahaziah was sick and sent messengers to Baalzebub to ask if he would recover. God was jealous of the attention given to his competitor and tells Ahaziah that he will die for asking the wrong god. 1:2-8

Elijah shows that he is "a man of God" by burning 102 men to death. He did the job in two shifts of 51 men each. 1:9-12
God kills Ahaziah for consulting another God. 1:16-17


God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head. 2:23-24

God instructs the Israelites, through the prophet Elisha, to implement a scorched earth policy on the Moabites. "Strike every fortified city and every choice city, and fell every good tree and stop all springs of water, and mar every good piece of land with stones." 3:19-25

hellboy

Elisha not only can cure leprosy, he can also dish it out. Here he makes his servant (Gehazi) and all his descendants lepers forever. 5:27

"So we boiled my son, and did eat him." Women killed, boiled and ate their own children because of a plague that God sent, or as the Bible puts it: "Behold, this evil is of the Lord." 6:28-29, 33

Someone questions Elisha's forecast, and Elisha tells him (indirectly) that he'll be killed for it. (And he is. See 7.17-20.) 7:2

"Thus saith the LORD God ... thou shalt smite the house of Ahab thy master, that I may avenge the blood of my servants the prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the LORD, at the hand of Jezebel." 9:6-7

A man is trampled to death for disbelieving Elisha. 7:17-20

God sends a famine on the people that lasts for seven years. 8:1

God announces his plan to kill Ahab's family. 9:6-10

"Thus saith the LORD God ... thou shalt smite the house of Ahab thy master, that I may avenge the blood of my servants the prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the LORD, at the hand of Jezebel." 9:6-7

"For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall." 9:8

"I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam ... Baasha."
God will kill Ahab's family just like he did the families of Jeroboam and Baasha. 9:9

hellboy

"And the dogs shall eat Jezebel ... and there shall be none to bury her." 9:10

God pays back Ahab by killing his son. 9:24

All seventy of king Ahab's sons are killed, their heads put in baskets, and sent to Jezreel. He says, "Lay ye them in two heaps ..." 10:7-8

Jehu kills all that remained of king Ahab's family. 10:11

Jehu meets with 42 brothers of Ahaziah, and then he murders them. 2 Chronicles 22:7 says that his killing was "of God." 10:13-14

Jehu shows off his zeal for the Lord by murdering "all that remained unto Ahab in Samaria, till he had destroyed him according to the word of the Lord." 10:16-17

Jehu lied to the followers of Baal so that he could trap and kill them. 10:19

Jehu warns his guards saying, "If any of the men escape, he that letteth him go, his life shall be for the life of him." 10:24

Jehu, when he finishes his animal sacrifices, orders his men to "Go in, and slay them, let none come forth. And they smote them with the edge of the sword." 10:25

God is greatly pleased with all of Jehu's killings, saying "because thou hast done well in executing that which is right in mine eyes, and hast done unto the house of Ahab according to all that was in mine heart [Jehu murdered them all], thy children of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel." 10:30

hellboy

The "Lord's people" destroyed the "house of Baal" and killed "the priest of Baal before the altars." 11:17-18

God strikes king Azariah with leprosy "unto the day of his death" for not removing the high places. 15:5

God sent lions to devour the foreigners in Samaria because "they feared not the Lord," and even worse "they knew not the manner of the God of the land." 17:25-26

I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and shall return to his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land."
God will cause Sennacherib to be killed by the sword. (See verse 37 where Sennacherib is killed by his own sons while praying.) 19:7

An "angel of the Lord" kills 185,000 men while they sleep. "And when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses." I guess they all woke up and said, "Shucks, I'm dead." 19:35

"Sennacherib ... departed ... And ... as he was worshipping in the house of Nisroch his god, that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword."
God made the sons murder their father. (See verse 7.) 19:36-37

God plans to "bring such evil upon Jerusalem and Judah, that whosoever heareth of it, both his ears shall tingle." 21:12

Josiah, with God's approval, broke down the houses of the sodomites. 23:7

Josiah, apparently with God's approval, kills "all the priests of the high places" and sacrifices them to God on their altars. Note that this is a guy who "did what was right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Kg.22:2). 23:20

Even though Josiah did all that God asked of him, God still punished him and all Jerusalem for the acts of his grandfather. 23:26

hellboy

1 Chronicles


God killed Er for being "evil in the sight of the Lord." 2:3

The sons of Reuben made war with the Hagarites and "there fell down many slain, because the war was from God." They did pretty well for themselves, too, in God's war, taking 250,000 sheep and 100,000 slaves. 5:18-22

But the Israelites "transgressed against the God of their fathers, and went a whoring after the gods of the people of the land, whom God destroyed before them." So God inspired the Assyrians to enslave the Israelites. 5:25-26

"Phinehas ... the LORD was with him."
See Numbers 25:7-8 to see what he did when the Lord was with him. 9:20

"Now the Philistines fought against Israel; and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines, and fell down slain in mount Gilboa."
God used the Philistines to kill the Israelite soldiers to punish Saul for not killing all the Amalekites. (See 1 Samuel 28:19) 10:1

Saul died for refusing God's order to kill all of the Amalekites (15:2-3, 18-19) and for consulting a witch (1 Sam.28:8-19). 10:13-14

David was thirsty, so he asked someone to get him some water from the Bethlehem well, which was controlled by the Philistines. Three of his men broke through the enemy lines, got the water from the well, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it and poured it on the ground. 11:17-19

God kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling. 13:9-10

"The LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand."
God tells David to go to war with the Philistines, promising to deliver them into his hand. 14:10

"God hath broken in upon mine enemies by mine hand."
God helps David slaughter his enemies. 14:11

hellboy

"David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Philistines." 14:16

David's army "wastes the children of Ammon ... besieged Rabbah ... and destroyed it." 20:1

David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of several cities. 20:3

God killed 70,000 mean (and their families) in a plague to punish David for having a census that God (or Satan) inspired. 21:14

"Possess this good land, and leave it for an inheritance for your children after you for ever."
This verse is used by Rethuglicans to justify protecting the rich from taxation. 28:8
2 Chronicles


God sent Shishak, the king of Egypt, to attack Jerusalem because Rehoboam "and all Israel transgressed against the Lord." Shishak had 1200 chariots, 60,000 horsemen and "people without number" and he attacked Judah and "took the fenced cities which pertained to Judah." When Shishak's army came to Jerusalem, "the princes of Israel and the king humbled themselves" and said, "The Lord is righteous." So God decided not to destroy Jerusalem, but just make them Shishak's slaves instead. 12:2-12

God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500,000 Israelites. "The children of Judah prevailed, because they relied upon the Lord God of their fathers." (That is, they had God on their side.) 13:15-20

In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the bible, Asa, with God's help, kills one million Ethiopians. 14:8-14

"Nation was destroyed of nation, and city of city: for God did vex them with all adversity." 15:6

Whoever that does not seek the God of Israel should be executed. 15:13

hellboy

God puts lies into the mouths of his prophets and speaks evil about people. 18:21-22

"A certain man drew a bow ... and smote the king of Israel ... and about the time of the sun going down he died."
God killed Ahab for showing mercy to king Benhadad. (See 1 Kings 20:42) 18:33-34

Hate the sinner -- or God will pour his wrath out on you. 19:2

The spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel (the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattanaiah) and told the people of Judah that they didn't have to fight against the Moabites, Ammonites, and Edomites. God would fight for them. And he did. God fought for them by forcing the members of the opposing army to kill each other. Then the people of Judah spent three days stripping the jewels and other valuables from the dead bodies. 20:14-25

Elijah tells Jehoram that God will smite his children, wives, and the people of Judah with a great plague (for things that Jehoram did) and God will smite him with a disease of his bowels until his bowels fall out. 21:14-15

The LORD stirred up against Jehoram the spirit of the Philistines, and of the Arabians ... And they came up into Judah, and ... and carried away ... his sons also, and his wives; so that there was never a son left him, save Jehoahaz, the youngest of his sons." 21:16-17

"And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease. And it came to pass, that in process of time, after the end of two years, his bowels fell out by reason of his sickness: so he died of sore diseases." 21:18-19

God appoved of Jehu's massacre of the families of Ahab and Ahaziah. 22:7-9

Only Levites can enter "the house of the Lord". "Whosoever else cometh into the house, he shall be put to death." 23:6-7

The priest (Jehoiada) tells the people to kill Athaliah and her followers. So they find her and kill her. "And all the people of the land rejoiced: and the city was quiet, after that they had slain Athaliah with the sword." (Don't you just love happy endings?) 23:14-15, 21

hellboy

"Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pieces and killed Mattan the priest of Baal. 23:17

Joash and Jehoida collect tons of money to repair "the house of the Lord." Religious leaders have been taking money from people ever since. 24:4-11

The spirit of God came upon Zechariah and he condemned everyone for disobeying God, so the people stoned him to death. As he was dying, Zechariah asked God to avenge his death. So God sent the Syrians to kill all the princes and God delivered the army of Judah into their hand. In the process, Joash was wounded and then killed in his bed. 24:20-25

Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,000 people; another 10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all were broken in pieces." 25:1-2, 11-12

God was pleased with Amaziah when he was slaughtering Edomites and throwing people off cliffs, but not when he decided to worship other gods. So God decided to kill Amaziah and cause his army to be defeated by the Israelites. 25:16-27

"Uzziah ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah did."
LIke throwing 10,000 men off a cliff? (See 25:12) 26:3-4

"He went forth and warred against the Philistines ... And God helped him against the Philistines, and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal, and the Mehunims." 26:6-7

God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21

Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8

"With us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles." 32:8

hellboy

"Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pieces and killed Mattan the priest of Baal. 23:17

Joash and Jehoida collect tons of money to repair "the house of the Lord." Religious leaders have been taking money from people ever since. 24:4-11

The spirit of God came upon Zechariah and he condemned everyone for disobeying God, so the people stoned him to death. As he was dying, Zechariah asked God to avenge his death. So God sent the Syrians to kill all the princes and God delivered the army of Judah into their hand. In the process, Joash was wounded and then killed in his bed. 24:20-25

Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,000 people; another 10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all were broken in pieces." 25:1-2, 11-12

God was pleased with Amaziah when he was slaughtering Edomites and throwing people off cliffs, but not when he decided to worship other gods. So God decided to kill Amaziah and cause his army to be defeated by the Israelites. 25:16-27

"Uzziah ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah did."
LIke throwing 10,000 men off a cliff? (See 25:12) 26:3-4

"He went forth and warred against the Philistines ... And God helped him against the Philistines, and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal, and the Mehunims." 26:6-7

God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21

Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8

"With us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles." 32:8

hellboy

God sent an angel to kill the Assyrian army. (According to 2 Kg.19:35 the angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers who woke the next morning to discover that they were dead.) 32:21

God vows to "bring evil upon this place ... even all the curses that are written in the book." He says his "wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched." 34:24-25

God gets angry with his people, so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill all the "young men with the sword." He has compassion for no one, not even old men that are "stooped for age." In his tender mercy and loving kindness he has them all slaughtered. 36:16-17
Ezra


The Israelites offend God by "taking" foreign wives and thereby corrupting "the holy seed." 9:2

Ezra tells the men that they must abandon their wives and children if they are to avoid God's wrath. 10:2-3, 10-12
Nehemiah


The Ammonite and the Moabite should not come into the congregation of God for ever. 13:1

Nehemiah rebukes the men for marrying "strange wives." To punish them he "contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair." 13:25-27 Esther


Vashti refuses to entertain the king's drunken guests by dancing before them. For this she is no longer to be queen, to be replaced by someone better (prettier?). 1:12-19

Because of Vashti's disobedience, the king decrees that "all the wives shall give to their husbands honor, both the great and the small" and "that every man should bear rule over his own house." 1:20-22

With nothing more than suspicion and hearsay, Esther has two men hanged (after a brief inquisition). 2:21-23

hellboy

"The Jews ... slew three hundred men at Shushan." 9:15

"The other Jews ... slew of their foes seventy and five thousand." 9:16
Job


God makes a bet with his son, Satan. God tells Satan to do nasty things to Job to see if he can get him to curse God to his face. 1:6-12

God gives Satan power over all that Job possesses. 1:12

To start off God and Satan's gruesome game, Job's slaves and animals are burned to death or killed with swords. Then Job's children are killed in a windstorm while partying. 1:13-19

God kills (or allows Satan to kill) Job's children, but Job doesn't "foolishly" blame God. Since God was responsible, why would it be foolish to blame God? 1:20-22

God and Satan play a little game with Job. God allows Satan to torment Job, just to see how he will react. 2:3-6

God and Satan play a little game with Job. God allows Satan to torment Job, just to see how he will react. 2:3-7

"So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown." 2:7

Because of God's cruel wager with Satan, Job curses the day he was born. 3:2-3, 11

hellboy

"The arrows of the Almighty are within me ... the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me." 6:4

"Thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions" 7:14

Does God pervert Justice? Well, if you believe the Bible he sure as hell does! 8:3

God multiplies wounds without cause, destroys the perfect along with the wicked, laughs at the trial of the innocent, and hides the truth from judges. 9:17, 22-24

"Is it good unto thee that thou shouldest oppress, that thou shouldest despise the work of thine hands?" 10:3

Speaking of God, Job says: "He teareth me in his wrath, who hateth me: he gnasheth upon me with his teeth." 16:9

The bible is wrong about ostriches being cruel and inattentive parents (39:13-16). But if they were, whose fault would it be? Why would God deprive them of the tools that are needed to do the job right? 39:17

"All the evil that the LORD had brought upon him"
All of Job's troubles were brought on by God. 42:11

After God (or Satan) kills Job's first set of kids (1:19), he is given an even better set -- with even prettier daughters! 42:13-15 Psalms


If you ask God, he'll force heathens to be your slaves and help you "dash them in pieces." 2:8-9