期望你這小說終有一天結集成書,成為書店架上暢銷書的一欄。
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #193 沙文 的帖子

一人分飾兩角呢條橋,out得好緊要呢....... 而且,有D故事表達手法只屬於電影語言範疇,用文字黎表達係表達唔到,甚至會好突兀,就例如所謂[一人分飾兩角]。你睇睇<妄想>呢套電影,就會見識到電影語言,做到文字上完全做唔到o既,故事表達o既功力。
彭氏兄弟,好野!
我睇你o既小說,當然係取長補短啦!而且,睇你寫得咁過癮,搞到我又手痕痕,想開個長篇上黎一齊比試下..........

[ 本帖最後由 酒井明 於 2007-9-2 21:34 編輯 ]
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #196 沙文 的帖子

我地講緊o既係兩件事黎.........當然,我明白你講乜,但係你就唔明白我講乜。係我o既表達能力差o左,定係你o既理解能力有問題?
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #211 Step.King 的帖子

係!係真o既,你真係寫得比沙文好。
唔係話因為沙文口水多過浪,而係你響故事表達手法上掌握到一D要訣,節奏明快好多,對白亦冇特登咬文嚼字,睇落順好多。好明顯,你響寫作技巧上,曾經有上佳o既操練。
當然,我唔會話沙文寫得唔好。佢有佢風格,我有我方法。
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #213 Step.King 的帖子

証明係你青出於藍勝於藍囉! 贏到自己個師傅,你應該覺得高興呀!
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #215 Step.King 的帖子

如果咁就叫做[仲未到家],咁我寧願唔到家喇! 我只會評論[寫得好唔好睇],只會用感覺去感受一個故仔寫得好唔好睇,只會不斷咁努力,希望自己o既故仔寫得好睇。文學修養同寫作技巧,我寧願選擇後者。
係你個人妄自菲薄o者,與人無尤,冇得救之至。

[ 本帖最後由 酒井明 於 2007-9-12 20:29 編輯 ]
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #217 Step.King 的帖子

咁又係呀!唔好睇呀,千祈千祈千祈,唔好去睇呀!就算睇都唔好用心睇呀,費事教壞你呀!

[ 本帖最後由 酒井明 於 2007-9-12 20:35 編輯 ]
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #219 Step.King 的帖子

我都係好言相勸o者。如果你又咁睇得起自己,覺得唔會中我文章o既毒,咁就無所謂啦。
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 #221 Step.King 的帖子

咁又係,我呢D人咁冇文學修養,剩係識得學寫作技巧,係唔似你地[會當凌絕頂,一覽眾山小]架喇!

[ 本帖最後由 酒井明 於 2007-9-12 22:24 編輯 ]
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 223# 的帖子

都唔係咁講o既......... 我D文咁渣,睇黎睇去連令人自省o既資格都冇啦;你地呢班高手,會當凌絕頂,一覽眾山小,響上面吹下風咪算囉。
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.
唉.........多好的酒,不會喝就是不會喝——看著沙文的小說,只感覺到,我這種沒什麼文學修養的人,就像一些沒酒量的人一樣,多好的酒端在桌前,不會喝,就是不會喝。看到各位品嘗的人,都大讚這是好酒;我只喝到平常酒裡的苦澀,及酒醉後的嘔心、暈眩。
我想,我還是喝汽水好了。
不過,老實說,真的手痕痕,我也想寫一個長篇................

[ 本帖最後由 酒井明 於 2007-9-19 00:40 編輯 ]
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 270# 的帖子

最後贈你四個字:冇咁巴閉。
我的長篇小說,沒有旁徵博引的註解,沒有優雅的文言語句;不過,卻有叫人不禁細想的故事情節。
如果沙文寫的是交響樂,我寫的是流行歌曲;如果沙文的作品是課堂上的必讀教材,我的作品就是那些不喜歡上堂的學生們,在抽屜下偷偷翻看的一本小說。
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.

回復 273# 的帖子

嘩...........你D聯想又幾""級喎!我只係用比喻,講下大家o既作品o既巿場定位;你竟然聯想到上堂o既情形。真犀利。

[ 本帖最後由 酒井明 於 2007-9-19 17:17 編輯 ]
Alessa is a daughter of Dahlia Gillespie. Alessa gets toasted in a ritual. Alessa is in agony. Alessa sends a part of her soul (the pure part, the part that wouldn't have to suffer) away in a form of a baby abandoned on the road. Harry finds the baby with his wife. They name her Cheryl.

The rest of it... You know.
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