hellboy

The "Lord's people" destroyed the "house of Baal" and killed "the priest of Baal before the altars." 11:17-18

God strikes king Azariah with leprosy "unto the day of his death" for not removing the high places. 15:5

God sent lions to devour the foreigners in Samaria because "they feared not the Lord," and even worse "they knew not the manner of the God of the land." 17:25-26

I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and shall return to his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land."
God will cause Sennacherib to be killed by the sword. (See verse 37 where Sennacherib is killed by his own sons while praying.) 19:7

An "angel of the Lord" kills 185,000 men while they sleep. "And when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses." I guess they all woke up and said, "Shucks, I'm dead." 19:35

"Sennacherib ... departed ... And ... as he was worshipping in the house of Nisroch his god, that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword."
God made the sons murder their father. (See verse 7.) 19:36-37

God plans to "bring such evil upon Jerusalem and Judah, that whosoever heareth of it, both his ears shall tingle." 21:12

Josiah, with God's approval, broke down the houses of the sodomites. 23:7

Josiah, apparently with God's approval, kills "all the priests of the high places" and sacrifices them to God on their altars. Note that this is a guy who "did what was right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Kg.22:2). 23:20

Even though Josiah did all that God asked of him, God still punished him and all Jerusalem for the acts of his grandfather. 23:26

hellboy

1 Chronicles


God killed Er for being "evil in the sight of the Lord." 2:3

The sons of Reuben made war with the Hagarites and "there fell down many slain, because the war was from God." They did pretty well for themselves, too, in God's war, taking 250,000 sheep and 100,000 slaves. 5:18-22

But the Israelites "transgressed against the God of their fathers, and went a whoring after the gods of the people of the land, whom God destroyed before them." So God inspired the Assyrians to enslave the Israelites. 5:25-26

"Phinehas ... the LORD was with him."
See Numbers 25:7-8 to see what he did when the Lord was with him. 9:20

"Now the Philistines fought against Israel; and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines, and fell down slain in mount Gilboa."
God used the Philistines to kill the Israelite soldiers to punish Saul for not killing all the Amalekites. (See 1 Samuel 28:19) 10:1

Saul died for refusing God's order to kill all of the Amalekites (15:2-3, 18-19) and for consulting a witch (1 Sam.28:8-19). 10:13-14

David was thirsty, so he asked someone to get him some water from the Bethlehem well, which was controlled by the Philistines. Three of his men broke through the enemy lines, got the water from the well, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it and poured it on the ground. 11:17-19

God kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling. 13:9-10

"The LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand."
God tells David to go to war with the Philistines, promising to deliver them into his hand. 14:10

"God hath broken in upon mine enemies by mine hand."
God helps David slaughter his enemies. 14:11

hellboy

"David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Philistines." 14:16

David's army "wastes the children of Ammon ... besieged Rabbah ... and destroyed it." 20:1

David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of several cities. 20:3

God killed 70,000 mean (and their families) in a plague to punish David for having a census that God (or Satan) inspired. 21:14

"Possess this good land, and leave it for an inheritance for your children after you for ever."
This verse is used by Rethuglicans to justify protecting the rich from taxation. 28:8
2 Chronicles


God sent Shishak, the king of Egypt, to attack Jerusalem because Rehoboam "and all Israel transgressed against the Lord." Shishak had 1200 chariots, 60,000 horsemen and "people without number" and he attacked Judah and "took the fenced cities which pertained to Judah." When Shishak's army came to Jerusalem, "the princes of Israel and the king humbled themselves" and said, "The Lord is righteous." So God decided not to destroy Jerusalem, but just make them Shishak's slaves instead. 12:2-12

God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500,000 Israelites. "The children of Judah prevailed, because they relied upon the Lord God of their fathers." (That is, they had God on their side.) 13:15-20

In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the bible, Asa, with God's help, kills one million Ethiopians. 14:8-14

"Nation was destroyed of nation, and city of city: for God did vex them with all adversity." 15:6

Whoever that does not seek the God of Israel should be executed. 15:13

hellboy

God puts lies into the mouths of his prophets and speaks evil about people. 18:21-22

"A certain man drew a bow ... and smote the king of Israel ... and about the time of the sun going down he died."
God killed Ahab for showing mercy to king Benhadad. (See 1 Kings 20:42) 18:33-34

Hate the sinner -- or God will pour his wrath out on you. 19:2

The spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel (the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattanaiah) and told the people of Judah that they didn't have to fight against the Moabites, Ammonites, and Edomites. God would fight for them. And he did. God fought for them by forcing the members of the opposing army to kill each other. Then the people of Judah spent three days stripping the jewels and other valuables from the dead bodies. 20:14-25

Elijah tells Jehoram that God will smite his children, wives, and the people of Judah with a great plague (for things that Jehoram did) and God will smite him with a disease of his bowels until his bowels fall out. 21:14-15

The LORD stirred up against Jehoram the spirit of the Philistines, and of the Arabians ... And they came up into Judah, and ... and carried away ... his sons also, and his wives; so that there was never a son left him, save Jehoahaz, the youngest of his sons." 21:16-17

"And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease. And it came to pass, that in process of time, after the end of two years, his bowels fell out by reason of his sickness: so he died of sore diseases." 21:18-19

God appoved of Jehu's massacre of the families of Ahab and Ahaziah. 22:7-9

Only Levites can enter "the house of the Lord". "Whosoever else cometh into the house, he shall be put to death." 23:6-7

The priest (Jehoiada) tells the people to kill Athaliah and her followers. So they find her and kill her. "And all the people of the land rejoiced: and the city was quiet, after that they had slain Athaliah with the sword." (Don't you just love happy endings?) 23:14-15, 21

hellboy

"Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pieces and killed Mattan the priest of Baal. 23:17

Joash and Jehoida collect tons of money to repair "the house of the Lord." Religious leaders have been taking money from people ever since. 24:4-11

The spirit of God came upon Zechariah and he condemned everyone for disobeying God, so the people stoned him to death. As he was dying, Zechariah asked God to avenge his death. So God sent the Syrians to kill all the princes and God delivered the army of Judah into their hand. In the process, Joash was wounded and then killed in his bed. 24:20-25

Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,000 people; another 10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all were broken in pieces." 25:1-2, 11-12

God was pleased with Amaziah when he was slaughtering Edomites and throwing people off cliffs, but not when he decided to worship other gods. So God decided to kill Amaziah and cause his army to be defeated by the Israelites. 25:16-27

"Uzziah ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah did."
LIke throwing 10,000 men off a cliff? (See 25:12) 26:3-4

"He went forth and warred against the Philistines ... And God helped him against the Philistines, and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal, and the Mehunims." 26:6-7

God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21

Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8

"With us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles." 32:8

hellboy

"Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pieces and killed Mattan the priest of Baal. 23:17

Joash and Jehoida collect tons of money to repair "the house of the Lord." Religious leaders have been taking money from people ever since. 24:4-11

The spirit of God came upon Zechariah and he condemned everyone for disobeying God, so the people stoned him to death. As he was dying, Zechariah asked God to avenge his death. So God sent the Syrians to kill all the princes and God delivered the army of Judah into their hand. In the process, Joash was wounded and then killed in his bed. 24:20-25

Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,000 people; another 10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all were broken in pieces." 25:1-2, 11-12

God was pleased with Amaziah when he was slaughtering Edomites and throwing people off cliffs, but not when he decided to worship other gods. So God decided to kill Amaziah and cause his army to be defeated by the Israelites. 25:16-27

"Uzziah ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah did."
LIke throwing 10,000 men off a cliff? (See 25:12) 26:3-4

"He went forth and warred against the Philistines ... And God helped him against the Philistines, and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal, and the Mehunims." 26:6-7

God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21

Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8

"With us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles." 32:8

hellboy

God sent an angel to kill the Assyrian army. (According to 2 Kg.19:35 the angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers who woke the next morning to discover that they were dead.) 32:21

God vows to "bring evil upon this place ... even all the curses that are written in the book." He says his "wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched." 34:24-25

God gets angry with his people, so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill all the "young men with the sword." He has compassion for no one, not even old men that are "stooped for age." In his tender mercy and loving kindness he has them all slaughtered. 36:16-17
Ezra


The Israelites offend God by "taking" foreign wives and thereby corrupting "the holy seed." 9:2

Ezra tells the men that they must abandon their wives and children if they are to avoid God's wrath. 10:2-3, 10-12
Nehemiah


The Ammonite and the Moabite should not come into the congregation of God for ever. 13:1

Nehemiah rebukes the men for marrying "strange wives." To punish them he "contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair." 13:25-27 Esther


Vashti refuses to entertain the king's drunken guests by dancing before them. For this she is no longer to be queen, to be replaced by someone better (prettier?). 1:12-19

Because of Vashti's disobedience, the king decrees that "all the wives shall give to their husbands honor, both the great and the small" and "that every man should bear rule over his own house." 1:20-22

With nothing more than suspicion and hearsay, Esther has two men hanged (after a brief inquisition). 2:21-23

hellboy

"The Jews ... slew three hundred men at Shushan." 9:15

"The other Jews ... slew of their foes seventy and five thousand." 9:16
Job


God makes a bet with his son, Satan. God tells Satan to do nasty things to Job to see if he can get him to curse God to his face. 1:6-12

God gives Satan power over all that Job possesses. 1:12

To start off God and Satan's gruesome game, Job's slaves and animals are burned to death or killed with swords. Then Job's children are killed in a windstorm while partying. 1:13-19

God kills (or allows Satan to kill) Job's children, but Job doesn't "foolishly" blame God. Since God was responsible, why would it be foolish to blame God? 1:20-22

God and Satan play a little game with Job. God allows Satan to torment Job, just to see how he will react. 2:3-6

God and Satan play a little game with Job. God allows Satan to torment Job, just to see how he will react. 2:3-7

"So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown." 2:7

Because of God's cruel wager with Satan, Job curses the day he was born. 3:2-3, 11

hellboy

"The arrows of the Almighty are within me ... the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me." 6:4

"Thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions" 7:14

Does God pervert Justice? Well, if you believe the Bible he sure as hell does! 8:3

God multiplies wounds without cause, destroys the perfect along with the wicked, laughs at the trial of the innocent, and hides the truth from judges. 9:17, 22-24

"Is it good unto thee that thou shouldest oppress, that thou shouldest despise the work of thine hands?" 10:3

Speaking of God, Job says: "He teareth me in his wrath, who hateth me: he gnasheth upon me with his teeth." 16:9

The bible is wrong about ostriches being cruel and inattentive parents (39:13-16). But if they were, whose fault would it be? Why would God deprive them of the tools that are needed to do the job right? 39:17

"All the evil that the LORD had brought upon him"
All of Job's troubles were brought on by God. 42:11

After God (or Satan) kills Job's first set of kids (1:19), he is given an even better set -- with even prettier daughters! 42:13-15 Psalms


If you ask God, he'll force heathens to be your slaves and help you "dash them in pieces." 2:8-9

hellboy

Kiss the Son or God will get angry and might have to kill you. 2:12

God has smitten his "enemies upon the cheek bone" and has "broken the teeth of the ungodly." 3:7

Christians often say that one should love the sinner but hate the sin. Perhaps, but God hates sinners and plans to destroy them. 5:5-6

If you pray to God, he will kill your enemies for you. 9:3-6

"The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things." 12:3

Atheists are fools who never do anything good. 14:1, 53:1

"They are all together become filthy: there is none that doth good, no, not one." Everyone is filthy and no one has ever done anything good. 14:3

Atheists are fools who never do anything good. 14:1, 53:1

The God of peace teaches us how to kill our neighbors in war. 18:34

God helps believers kill and enslave their enemies. 18:40-43

hellboy

If you make God angry, he'll burn you and your children to death. 21:9-10

God will shoot his adversaries in the back with his arrows. 21:12

The psalmist sets an example for Christians by hating people but loving God. 31:6

Those who fear God never starve. 33:19

Those "that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing." (Those who are poor or hungry just aren't seeking God enough.) 34:10

A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies: Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them.... Let destruction come upon him at unawares." 35:6,8

Those who trust in God and do good, will never be hungry. (Those who starve to death didn't trust him or did bad things.) 37:3

If you delight yourself in God, he'll give you whatever you want. 37:4

God laughs at those that he will later torment. 37:13

The Psalmist praises God for driving out and afflicting "the heathen" with his own hand. 44:2

hellboy

If you forget God, God will tear you into pieces. 50:22

If you don't trust in God, he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righteous" will laugh at you. 52:5-7

God will send evil on the enemies of his followers. 54:5

Referring to his enemies, the psalmist says: "Let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell." 55:15

Wicked people are wicked from birth -- God made them that way. They tell lies immediately after birth (before they can even talk!). 58:3

The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth ... let them be cut in pieces." 58:6-7

"Let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun."
A prayer that your enemies will die like an aborted fetus. 58:8

"The righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by God. He'll even get a chance to wash his feet in their blood. Now that's entertainment! 58:10

The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy. 59:5

God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. 59:8

hellboy

"The God of mercy" will let the psalmist see his enemies tormented. 59:10

"Consume them in thy wrath, consume them." -- more sweet prayers to a savage god. 59:13

God divides the world into those countries that he likes and those that he doesn't. Those he doesn't like he calls names (like "washpot") and says that he will throw his shoe at them. 60:7-8

God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can wash their feet "in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same." 68:21, 23

"They that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee." 73:27

"The LORD heard this" (he had his hearing aid on) and became angry, and burned people "because they believed not in God." 78:21-22

"The wrath of God came upon them" and God killed many of the Israelites for not believing in "his wondrous works." 78:31-34

God "cast out the heathen" and gave their lands to the Israelites. 78:55

The psalmist asks God to pour out his wrath on somebody else for a change. Why not torment some strangers "that have not known thee?" 79:5-6

The psalmist asks God to "do unto them as unto the Midianites ... which became as dung for the earth." 83:9-18

hellboy

If you don't follow God's commandments, he will beat you with a rod. 89:31-32

"They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing." Being fat is is sure sign of righteousness. (Wicked people are skinny and hungry.) 92:12-14

The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstborn in their land." See Ex.12:29-30 for the gory details. 105:29-36

God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: drowning, earth-swallowing, burning, etc. 106:11-19

God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab." But "then stood up Phinehas, and executed judgment [by throwing a spear through a newly married couple]: and so the plague was stayed." But not before 24,000 (1 Cor.10:8 says 23,000) had died. (See Num.25:6-9 for all the gory details.) 106:29-30

God is offended by those who make things with their hands or invent things with their minds. 106:39

God destroys the environment to punish people for their sins. 107:33-34

The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "Set thou a wicked man over him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let his prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions, kill him, and have his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. 109:6-14

"Let Satan stand at his right hand." 109:6

"Let his prayer become sin." 109:7

hellboy

"Let his days be few; and let another take his office." 109:8

"Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow." 109:9

"Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg." 109:10

"Let the extortioner catch all that he hath; and let the strangers spoil his labour." 109:11

"Let there be none to extend mercy unto him: neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children." 109:12

Let his posterity be cut off; and in the generation following let their name be blotted out." 109:13

"Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the LORD; and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out." 109:14

God will "fill the places with dead bodies" of heathens. 110:6

God is praised for slaughtering kings, nations, and little babies. 135:8, 10

"To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever." 136:10

hellboy

God "overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea: for his mercy endureth for ever." 136:15

God "smote great kings: for his mercy endureth for ever." 136:17-18

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." 137:9

The psalmist excels at hating. He hates people with a "perfect hatred" and asks God to kill them. 139:19-22

A prayer that God will burn people to death. 140:10

The God of Peace teaches us to kill each other in war. 144:1

The saints praise God while they kill and enslave "the heathen." 149:5-8 Proverbs


God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and ignore you when you ask him for help. And if you seek him, you will not find him. 1:26-28

"Whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil."
Whoever listens to God (or wisdom, or whoever is talking here) will always be safe. 1:33

"A rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding."
Beat the people who don't understand with a rod. 10:13

hellboy

"The soul of the diligent shall be made fat."
God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are skinny and poor.) 13:4

"Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded." 13:13

"A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just." 13:22

"The belly of the wicked shall want."
How to tell the good from the bad: Good people are the ones who get plenty to eat, and wicked are the ones who go hungry. 13:25

God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them. 16:4

"A divine sentence is in the lips of the king: his mouth transgresseth not in judgment." 16:10

"The throne is established by righteousness." 16:12

"Righteous lips are the delight of kings." 16:13

"In the light of the king's countenance is life; and his favour is as a cloud of the latter rain." 16:15

Fools are meant to be beaten. 18:6

hellboy

Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. 19:18

Scorners (skeptics?) should be condemned; fools should be beaten. 19:29

"The fear of a king is as the roaring of a lion: whoso provoketh him to anger sinneth against his own soul."
It's a sin to make a king angry. 20:2

A king that sitteth in the throne of judgment scattereth away all evil with his eyes." 20:8

"The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." 21:1

"The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous." 21:18

Beating your children will make them less foolish. Have you beaten your child today? 22:15

Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14

Fear ... the king." 24:21

"The heaven for height, and the earth for depth, and the heart of kings is unsearchable." 25:3

hellboy

"Take away the wicked from before the king, and his throne shall be established in righteousness." 25:5

Whip horses and strike the backs of foolish people with rods. 26:3

If you don't listen to and follow the laws of Moses, then don't even try praying, because your prayer will become an abomination. 28:9

"He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat."
So that's why there are so many fat Christians! (And starving non-Christians.) 28:25

Beating your children will make them wise. 29:15

Beat your servants (slaves), as though they were your children. 29:19

If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. 30:17 Ecclesiastes


"Curse not the king, no not in thy thought; and curse not the rich." 10:20

Isaiah


"If ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword." 1:20

"Ye shall be confounded for the gardens that ye have chosen." 1:29

hellboy

"They shall go into the holes of the rocks, and into the caves of the earth, for fear of the LORD ... when he ariseth to shake terribly the earth." 2:19, 21

"Jerusalem is ruined, and Judah is fallen: because their tongue and their doings are against the LORD." 3:8

"They declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul!"
The biblical god just doesn't seem to care much for homosexuals. And he gets especially upset when "they hide it not." 3:9

God will "smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion" and "will discover their secret parts" since he doesn't like the way they dress and walk. 3:16-17

"And ... instead of a sweet smell there shall be stink," with people suffering from baldness and burnings, and the men killed with swords. 3:24-25

God will kill those who despise his word and fail to follow his laws. Their carcasses will be "torn in the midst of the streets." 5:24-25

God will prevent people from hearing and understanding "lest they ... convert and be healed." 6:10

If you associate or gird yourself, God will break you in pieces. 8:9

God will have no mercy on the widows and children of hypocrites. 9:17

God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the flesh of his own arm." 9:19-20