hellboy

God again vows to destroy those that dare worship something or someone other than him. 14:6-8

God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies. 14:9

When really bad things happen (like you or your children get eaten by wild beasts, get killed in war, get sick and die, etc.), then you'll know that it was God that did it to you. And he won't spare children just because there are a few righteous people around. 14:13-21

God will burn the inhabitants of Jerusalem to show everyone that he is the Lord. 15:6-7

For being such a whore, God punished Jerusalem by starving the Israelites and handing them over to the Philistines. 16:17

After exposing her nakedness, God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy" and strip her naked once more. Then he'll have her stoned "with stones and thrust through with swords." 16:38-41

"All souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine." 18:4a

"The soul that sinneth, it shall die." 18:4b

God will kill you for making a single mistake; all your good deeds he will ignore. 18:24-26

"Ye say, The way of the LORD is not equal."
Even the Israelites recognized the injustice of "God's laws" more than 2500 years ago. 18:25, 29

hellboy

God planned to "pour out [his] fury" on the Hebrews in Egypt for worshipping idols. But then he changed his mind, thank God. 20:7-8

God threatens three times to kill all the Israelites for disobeying him, but after thinking about it a bit, he decided not to. 20:8, 13, 21

God gave the Israelites "statutes that were not good and judgments whereby they should not live." He "polluted" them so that he "might make them desolate" and force them to kill and sacrifice their children "that they might know" that he is the Lord. 20:25-26

God will set a fire in the southern kingdom that will devour everything and burn everyone. "And all flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled it." 20:47-48

God will kill everyone -- good and bad, just and unjust. 21:3-5

God is sharpening a sword for the slaughter of his people. 21:8-32

"Thou shalt be for fuel to the fire; thy blood shall be in the midst of the land ... for I the LORD have spoken it." 21:32

God will gather all of Israel and consume them in the fires of his anger. 22:20-22

God couldn't find anyone to stand up to him, so he's going to destroy everyone. 22:30-31

Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts and bruising "the teats of their virginity." As a punishment, one sister's nakedness was discovered, her children were taken from her, and she was killed by the sword. And the fate of the surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears were cut off, she was made to "pluck off" her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death. 23:1-49

hellboy

"I will deliver thee into the hand of them whom thou hatest ... And they shall deal with thee hatefully." 23:28-29

"I will do these things unto thee, because thou hast gone a whoring after the heathen ... Thou shalt be laughed to scorn and had in derision ... thou shalt be filled with drunkenness and sorrow." 23:30-33

"The company shall stone them with stones, and dispatch them with their swords; they shall slay their sons and their daughters, and burn up their houses with fire." 23:47

God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh, saying "kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned." 24:3-14

God kills Ezekiel's wife and then tells him not to mourn her. 24:16-18

God killed Ezekiel's wife to demonstrate his intention to kill the Israelites' children. And just as God told Ezekiel not to mourn his wife's death, God forbids the parents to mourn the death of their children. 24:21-24

God will kill everyone that claps his hands or stamps his feet "against the land of Israel." When he's done with the killing everyone will know that he is the Lord. 25:6-7

"I will execute judgments upon Moab; and they shall know that I am the LORD." 25:11

God will send Israelites to slaughter the people of Edom. 25:13-14

God will "stretch out his hand" to the Philistines (to kill them all). 25:16-17

hellboy

God says he will destroy Tyrus. He plans to kill everyone, but he is especially looking forward to killing all of the women. "And her daughters which are in the field shall be slain by the sword; and they shall know that I am the LORD." 26:1-21

Now God has singled out the king of Tyre for his tirades. 28:7-10, 18-19

Watch out or God will make you "die the deaths of the uncircumcised," which is, no doubt, a most unpleasant death. 28:10

God says that Zidon will know that he is the Lord when he \ sends "pestilence and blood into her streets." 28:22-23

God tells Ezekiel to prophesy against the pharaoh and against all Egypt. God says he will feed the Egyptians to the birds and beasts. 29:2-9

God will punish Egypt and her allies by sending Nebuchadrezzar to "fill the land with the slain." God will top it off by making "the rivers dry," selling the land to "the wicked," making "the land waste," lighting fires, and having the young men "fall by the sword." 30:4-26

"And they shall know that I am the LORD, when I have set a fire in Egypt." (The Divine Pyromaniac) 30:8, 30:14, 30:16

"Thou shalt lie in the midst of the uncircumcised with them that be slain by the sword. This is Pharaoh and all his multitude, saith the Lord GOD." 31:18

God will treat Pharaoh like a whale fished out of the sea. Every bird and beast in the world will feed upon him. 32:3-6

God will vex the hearts of many people, destroy entire nations, brandish his sword, kill animals, and cause floods. In this way people will come to know him (just before he kills them?). 32:9-15

hellboy

God takes a break from killing people while he kills all the animals in Egypt. 32:13

Pharaoh and all his multitude, along with the uncircumcised, will be killed with the sword. 32:20-32

When God is getting ready to kill people with the sword, it's the watchman's duty to warn them about it by blowing a trumpet. If the people hear the trumpet but don't "take warning," then God will kill the people but not the watchman. But if the watchman doesn't blow the trumpet when he sees God coming, then God will kill the people and the watchman. 33:2-6

God tells Ezekiel that he is the watchman. So the usual watchman rules apply to him. 33:7-9

If a "righteous" person does something wrong, God will forget every good thing that that person has ever done. Then God will kill him for the single mistake. 33:12-13

"Yet the children of thy people say, The way of the Lord is not equal."
The Israelites rightly recognize the injustice in God's killing rules. 33:17, 20

God plans some more killing by the sword, beasts, and the pestilence. 33:27-29

God tells Ezekiel about his plans for the Edomites (Seir). He's going to kill them all. That way they'll know for sure that he is the Lord. 35:2-15

"Thou shalt come up against my people of Israel ... in the latter days, and I will bring thee against my land, that the heathen may know me ... O Gog." 38:16

God will cause each man's sword to be against his brother; he will send disease and make it rain fire and brimstone. He says that by doing this he'll magnify and sanctify himself and let everyone know that he is the Lord. 38:21-23

hellboy

God will have birds and beasts eat human flesh and drink human blood until they are full and drunken. 39:4, 17-20, 28

God sets a fire on Magog and feeds Gog and all of his people to the birds and beasts. He did all this to let them know that he is the Lord. 39:4-7

After the Israelites spend seven years burying Gog's soldiers, God (somehow) feed their bodies to the birds and beasts and gets t hem drunk on their blood. 39:17-28

"They have even defiled my holy name by their abominations that they have committed: wherefore I have consumed them in mine anger." 43:8

"The prince shall not take of the people's inheritance by oppression, to thrust them out of their possession; but he shall give his sons inheritance out of his own possession: that my people be not scattered every man from his possession."
This verse is used by Rethuglicans to justify protecting the rich from taxation. 46:18

God gives a huge chunk of land to Israel, dividing it equally among the tribes -- except for Joseph, who gets a double portion. (What did the Palestinians get?) 47:13
Daniel


"The Lord gave Jehoiakim king of Judah into his [Nebuchadnezzar's] hand." 1:2

"He removeth kings, and setteth up kings."
Monarchy is God's preferred form of government. God chooses the kings and then removes them when he feels like it. 2:21


God forced Nebuchadnezzar to live with animals and eat grass like an ox. His hair was like eagles' feathers and his nails like birds' claws. 4:28-33

After going through a rather bizarre ordeal, inflicted upon him by God, Nebuchadnezzar heaps praise upon God -- in whose eyes "all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing." 4:34-37

hellboy

After Daniel gave Belshazzar the bad news, Belshazzar rewarded him by making him the "third ruler in the kindgdom." Later that night Belshazzar died. (Did God kill him?) 5:29-30

King Darius, after trying to feed Daniel to the lions, orders those who accused Daniel (and their wives and children) to be cast into the lion den. "And the lions ... brake all their bones in pieces." 6:24
Hosea


"I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel." 1:6

God "will not have mercy upon ... the children of whoredoms. For their mother hath played the harlot." 2:4-5

Hosea buys a wife for 15 pieces of silver and one and a half homers of barley. 3:2

Because of the Israelites' disobedience, the land mourns, and all the animals are dying. 4:3

If you misbehave, God will make your daughters "commit whoredom" and your wife "commit adultery." 4:13

"Ephraim shall be desolate in the day of rebuke." 5:9

"The princes of Judah were like them that remove the bound: therefore I will pour out my wrath upon them like water." 5:10

God will tear up Ephraim like a lion so that "in their affliction they will seek me." 5:14

hellboy

"I will spread my net upon them; I will bring them down as the fowls of the heaven." 7:12

"Woe unto them! for they have fled from me: destruction unto them!" 7:13

"They return, but not to the most High ... their princes shall fall by the sword for the rage of their tongue." 7:16

God will induce miscarriages and kill the children of Ephraim. 9:11-12

"O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts." 9:14

God hates the sinner even more than the sin. 9:15

"I will slay even the beloved fruit of their womb." 9:16

God will punish Israel by "dashing" together mothers and their children. 10:14

The blame for Ephraim's bloody destruction falls on Ephraim, not on God. Even though God is the one who brings it about. 12:14

"I will be thy plagues ... I will be thy destruction: repentance shall be hid from mine eyes." 13:14

hellboy

Because the Samaritans chose to worship another deity, God will dash their infants to pieces and their "women with child shall be ripped up." 13:16 Joel


God torments the animals by burning their food and drying up the rivers.  1:18-20

"A fire devoureth before them ... nothing shall escape."
On "the day of the Lord", everything and everyone will be burned to death. 2:3

God says he will repay Israel for the damage the locusts caused -- which he sent! And they will "praise the name of the Lord." 2:25-26

"I will sell your sons and your daughters ... for the Lord hath spoken it." 3:8

"Egypt shall be a desolation, and Edom shall be a desolate wilderness." 3:19 Amos


The divine pyromaniac threatens to "send fire unto" Hazael, Gaza, Tyrus, Teman, Rabbah, Moab, and Judah. 1:4, 7, 10, 12, 14; 2:2, 5

"I will ... cut off the inhabitant from the plain of Aven ... and the people of Syria shall go into captivity." 1:5

"I will cut off the inhabitant from Ashdod, and him that holdeth the sceptre from Ashkelon, and I will turn mine hand against Ekron: and the remnant of the Philistines shall perish, saith the Lord GOD." 1:8

God says there are three or four reasons for him to punish Moab. But he only mentions one: "because he burned the bones of the king of Edom." So God burned Moab because they burned some bones. 2:1

hellboy

God will "slay all the princes" of Moab. 2:3

God destroyed the Amorites who were a race of giants as tall as cedars and as strong as oaks. 2:9

God explains that he punishes the Israelites because he knows them so well. 3:2

All evil comes from God. 3:6

God's creative ways of kiilling people and breaking things. 3:12-15

God afflicted the Israelites with "cleanness of teeth" (famine,) drought, blasting, and mildew. He killed them with pestilence, slaughtered them with the sword, and "made the stink of their camps come up into their noses." Destroyed them like they were from Sodom and Gomorrah. And yet they still didn't return to him. What is wrong with people? 4:6-11

"Therefore thus will I do unto thee .... Prepare to meet thy God, O Israel." 4:12

"For thus saith the Lord GOD; The city that went out by a thousand shall leave an hundred, and that which went forth by an hundred shall leave ten." 5:3

"Seek the LORD, and ye shall live; lest he break out like fire in the house of Joseph, and devour it." 5:6

When there is wailing and mourning, you'll know God's been there. 5:16-17

hellboy

God rejects the Israelites prayers, songs, and sacrifices because they worshipped other gods and didn't offer enough sacrifices during the Exodus (many centuries ago). To punish them he'll make them all slaves. 5:21-27

"The Lord GOD hath sworn by himself ... I abhor the excellency of Jacob, and hate his palaces: therefore will I deliver up the city." God swears to himself that he hates Jacob's palaces, so he will deliver up the city (and kill everyone in it). 6:8

God says, "If there remain ten men in one house, that they shall die." 6:9

"The LORD commandeth, and he will smite the great house with breaches, and the little house with clefts."
(God will destroy people's houses.) 6:11

"I will raise up against you a nation, O house of Israel, saith the LORD the God of hosts; and they shall afflict you." 6:14

Next God sends a fire that consumes both land and sea. 7:4

God will kill the house of Jeroboam with the sword. 7:9-11

Amos tells Amaziah that his wife will become a whore, his children will be killed, and he'll die in a pagan country. 7:17

God tells Amos that the end has come for the people of Israel. He won't wait any longer to kill them all. 8:2

"The songs of the temple shall be howlings in that day, saith the Lord GOD: there shall be many dead bodies in every place." 8:3

hellboy

God will "cut them in the head" and "slay the last of them with the sword." Any that try to escape by diving to the bottom of the sea will be bitten, at God's command, by a sea-serpent. God will set his "eyes upon them for evil, not for good." 9:1-4

God will melt the land with his touch and then drown it in a flood. 9:5

God will destroy the "the sinful kingdom" and "all the sinners" among his people. 9:8-10 Obadiah


The Israelites hear "a rumor from the Lord" telling them to start a war with the Edomites. 1, 8

God tells Israelites to "destroy the wise men out of Edom" and to slaughter "everyone of the mount of Esau." 8-9

God will burn all the heathen to death, "for the LORD hath spoken it." 16-18
Micah


God will destroy Samaria with stones. 1:6

"The inhabitant of Maroth waited carefully for good: but evil came down from the LORD." 1:12

"Behold, against this family do I devise an evil." 2:3

God accuses the Israelite leaders of plucking off skin, flesh from bones, eating human flesh, flaying off skin, breaking bones, chopping bodies in pieces, making human stew. To punish them he will ignore them when they call on him. 3:1-4

hellboy

Because the leaders of the nation were corrupt, God plans to punish everyone. 3:9-12

God will strengthen the Israelites so they can "beat in pieces many peoples" and give the booty to God. 4:13

"They shall waste the land of Assyria with the sword." 5:6

Like a young lion "the remnant of Jacob" will tear the Gentiles to pieces. 5:8

"Thine hand shall be lifted up upon thine adversaries, and all thine enemies shall be cut off." 5:9

God will "cut off" the witches and soothsayers. 5:11-12

God will destroy entire cities, and "execute vengeance in anger and fury upon the heathen such as they have not heard." 5:14-15

God will make his people sick, hungry, and desolate. Those who survive he will "give up to the sword." 6:13-16

The Gentiles will be made deaf, shall lick dust and be forced to crawl like worms from fear of God and his people. 7:16-17
Nahum


God is jealous, gets furious, and takes vengeance on his adversaries.1:2

hellboy

God doesn't just get even. He drowns or burns to death his enemies. 1:8-10

"Take ye the spoil of silver, take the spoil of gold."
God encourages stealing from the people of Ninevh. 2:9

God punished Nineveh by enslaving the people and smashing the little children in the streets. 3:10

God says that "the fire shall devour thee, the sword shall cut thee off, it shall eat thee up like the cankerworm." 3:15 Habakkuk


God will have the Chaldeans (Babylonians) devastate Israel. 1:6

"O LORD, thou hast ordained them for judgment; and, O mighty God, thou hast established them for correction." 1:12

God will strike down the Chaldeans (Babylonians) for attacking Israel. But, in verse 1:6, God made them do just that! 2:8

"Before him [God] went the pestilence, and burning coals at his feet." 3:5

Habakkuk praises God for slaughtering "the heathen." 3:12-14 Zephaniah


God plans to kill every living thing. 1:2-3

hellboy

God will "cut off" all those who "have not sought the Lord" or who worship another god. 1:4-6

God will punish the princes, the king's children, the merchant people, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel, leap on the threshold, or bear silver. 1:8-11

God doesn't have good night-vision, so he needs candles when he comes to rob people of their houses, goods, and wine. 1:12-13

God will "bring distress upon men" so that they "walk like blind men." He will pour out their blood like dust and "their flesh as dung." 1:17-18

Hide from God and hope he doesn't find you. 2:1-3

God's hit list: Gaza, Ashkelon, Ekron, the sea coast, Canaan, the Philistines, Moab, the children of Ammon, Ethiopians, Assyrians, and Nineveh. 2:4-13

God destroyed entire cities, killing all the inhabitants. 3:6

"All of the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy." 3:8 Haggai


But the Israelites repaired their own houses while ignoring the temple. So God huffed, and he puffed, and he blew on the land, thereby bringing a drought to punish them. 1:9-11

God sent blight and hail upon the Israelites, yet they still didn't return to him. What is wrong with people? 2:17

hellboy

God will make the horses and their riders be killed by "the sword of his brother." 2:22 Zechariah


God says the Israelites are his favorite people, "the apple of his eye." If you mess with them, he'll shake his hand at you. 2:8-9

"For I set all men every one against his neighbor." 8:10

"Thus saith the LORD of hosts ... ten men ... shall take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew." 8:23

God will cast out Tyrus and devour it with fire. 9:4

God will mercilessly "feed the flock of slaughter" by making every one kill his neighbor. 11:4-7

"Let the rest eat every one the flesh of another." 11:9

"Woe to the idle shepherd." He will be mutilated and blinded. 11:17

God will open his eyes and smite "every rider with madness ... and every horse ... with blindness." 12:4

"I [God] make the governors of Judah like an hearth of fire ... and they shall devour all the people round about." 12:6

hellboy

"I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem." 12:9

Someday prophets will be killed by their own parents by "thrusting him through when he prophesieth." 13:3

God will make "all nations" fight against Jerusalem. The women will be "ravished" and half its people enslaved. 14:1-2

God will "go forth and fight" for Jerusalem with "his feet" on the mount of Olives. 14:3

God will smite the people with plagues that will cause their flesh, eyes, and tongues to rot away. 14:12

God will make everyone fight and kill his neighbor. 14:13

God sends his plagues on animals too. 14:15

Whoever survives all these plagues and slaughters must worship God. 14:16

God will "smite the heathen" with a plague. 14:18 Malachi


God, for some strange reason, "hated Esau." 1:3

hellboy

God hates the Edomites, and his hatred will last forever. Whenever the Edomites build something, God will tear it down. 1:4

God continues to demand animal sacrifices. And not just any animals will do. He is insulted when blind, lame, or sick animals are killed for him. 1:7-14

Give glory to God or he will curse you. 2:2

"I also made you contemptible and base before all the people." 2:9

God will curse you if you don't give him money and meat. 3:8-10

God will burn "the wicked" and the "righteous" will walk around on their ashes. 4:1-3

The Old Testament ends fittingly with these words: "lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." 4:6 Matthew


While insulting the Pharisees and Sadducees, John the Baptist calls an entire generation a "generation of vipers." 3:7

Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12

Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old Testament. 5:17

Don't defend yourself in court. 5:40

hellboy

"If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Fair is fair! 6:15

Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30

Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14

Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19

"My servant lieth at home sick."
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK, I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is an abomination to God." 8:5-9

"The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 8:12

Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the dead." 8:21

Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters below. 8:32

Jesus heals a paralytic man by forgiving his sins. (Paralysis is caused by sinful behavior.) 9:2-6

hellboy

Jesus tells his disciples to keep away from the Gentiles and Samaritans, and go only to the Israelites. 10:5-6

Cities that neither "receive" the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly did to those poor folks (see Gen.19:24). 10:14-15

Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." 10:21

Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell." 10:28

"Whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." 10:33

Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36

Jesus warns us not to love our parents or children too much. We have to make sure that we always love him (who we don't even know existed) more than our family. 10:37

Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his preaching. 11:20-24

"Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." 12:36

When Jesus' mother and brothers want to see him, Jesus rudely asks, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" So much for Jesus' family values. 12:47-49